A midlife crisis is mainly associated with a man in a sports car, the selfish man who is cheating, is dating a younger woman, buys a new car and has renewed attention for his appearance. Women can be just as good in a midlife crisis coming.
Understanding what’s going on, can be a part of soften the suffering at the midlife crisis affected person and his surroundings. You are 45 and have it all: a fine house, a child, a partner and a good job. And all of a sudden you stand still and you realize that life is going to fast. All your dreams you once had failed and now you’re stuck in this life. You feel suffocated. This can be the start of a midlife crisis. You’re not the first that this happens to. About 25% of all Dutch people it will happen to.
What is a midlife crisis?
Man’s life can be divided into different phases. So you have that baby, toddler, child, adolescent and adult followed by the midlife phase to end in a senior. The midlife phase takes place between your 30th and 60th year. Every phase of life goes hand in hand with changes and changes is confronting a man with his identity. Similarly the midlife phase. Midlife is just a phase of life of man, but if it’s a real crisis phase, differs for each person. It is a period where people are frequently dealing with the following questions: Who am I? What is really important? What makes me really happy? Are my goals accomplished? This is it?
You make a balans of your life. This together with the realization that life is finite and all for half of the time over, can bring about a considerable shock. Especially if you come to the realization that you are not the person who you wanted to be. That the goals you’ve suggested yourself when you were younger, are not completed. A midlife crisis often has to do with the gap of what you would like to be (in life and as a human being) and what and who you really are and can last for two to ten years.
Men versus women
A midlife crisis is not only for men. Also women can suffer from it. Only the reason why to the crisis is different. According to life coach Patrick Schriel a decreased libido in men can lead to a midlife crisis, what they often like to compensate. The classic examples are men who all of a sudden go flirting, cheating and starting a relationship with a much younger woman. In women the (impending) transition and that she can get no more children play a large role. Also, when the kids go out of the house and they have to find a new purpose, could be a reason for a midlife crisis. But the chances of a midlife crisis are the greatest when people (men and women) are stuck in their work or in their relationship. Symptoms of midlife crisis are accompanied by periods of unrest, discontent and a desire to make changes in established patterns of work, relationship and lifestyle.
Common symptoms are:
Developing a new life purpose
Nostalgia for the past
Renewed attention to appearance and appearance
Taking ill-considered decisions or risky investments and investments
Purchase of precious things (for example, a sports car, jewelry or a boat)
The need for isolation or loking up former friends all of a sudden
Going away from home every night
Thinking about emigrating or suddenly a far journey
Make your salvation with spiritual movements or sects seeking
Refuge to hazardous activities, alcohol, drugs or pills to leave the feeling of futility
To expel an intense need to go that long-held dream to achieve
Disruption, at long last
How violently a midlife crisis is, differs for each person. A mild form, many people often do not realise they sit in a midlife crisis. But a violent midlife crisis can have disruptive consequences for both the affected person itself and its surroundings. He or she may feel that it is now or never. Get out what’s in it, without thinking about the consequences or the feelings of others.
A violent midlife crisis put pressure on existing relationships, the risk to irreversible and wrong decisions grows, financial and emotional damage lies ahead. A midlife crisis can also be accompanied by a depression.
Getting through a midlife crisis seems like a nasty period, but it can be a necessary stage where you can learn a lot from. Like any identity crisis you will need to go through it. Try to recognize the signals in a timely manner, so that you know what you’re going through. At that time how difficult it may seem, it is important to continue to communicate with your environment.
Keep and stay in a positive approach. This way you can use a midlife crisis to look for the things that are really important to you. Send signals and make changes that cause more making sense of your existence. If you can not doing it alone, then you might want to seek help.
Prevent the risk of midlife crisis
A midlife crisis completely exclude, is tricky. What you can do to reduce the risk is throughout your life every now and then stand still and ask yourself critical questions. Am I happy with my partner? Gives my work satisfaction? Are there still goals I want to extract?
Try to adjust in a timely manner so you don’t have to ask yourself all of a sudden at 50 where the time has gone and am I the person who I would like to be.